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    <title><![CDATA[Humor Columns - ArcaMax Publishing]]></title>
	<link>https://www.arcamax.com//entertainment/humor/humorcolumns/rss</link>
	<description><![CDATA[Humor Columns News Feed]]></description>
	<language>en-us</language>
	<copyright>Copyright 2026 ArcaMax Publishing</copyright>
	
	
	
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: My big 5-Oh]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[1976 was a spectacular year in the United States, with fireworks,
parades and a nationwide celebration to mark a momentous event in
American history.

I refer, of course, to my unlikely start in journalism.

There was also, on a much smaller scale...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4055303</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Mar/30/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Trash talk]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Garbage in, garbage out has been my motto through almost five decades
of marriage. It’s only fair since I am the one who creates most of the
trash in our humble household. So I have to take it out or I will be
kicked to the curb, too.

That’s ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4048391</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Mar/23/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: A cut above]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Blood, goes a familiar idiom, which can now be applied to this
familiar idiot, is thicker than water.

That’s why I needed approximately a gallon of water — as well as
a box of Kleenex, two Band-Aids and a styptic pencil — to stanch the
flow...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4041615</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Mar/16/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Retaining a perfect smile]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Word of mouth has it that my mouth isn’t as big as everyone thinks
and that my foot (size 11 wide) isn’t stuck in it.

But the really good news is that an orthodontic resident said my
teeth are in great shape because the retainers I use to ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4034177</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Mar/09/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: No money down the drain]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[If I started my own plumbing business, I would be like the Three
Stooges, who played plumbers in one of their classic movie shorts and
ended up flooding a house.

But if the drain in your shower ever gets clogged, I’m the guy to
call.

Unlike ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4026755</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Mar/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: From Russia, with cable]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[If I had my own TV show, a sitcom like “Everybody Loves Raymond”
that I would call “Some People Seem to Like Jerry,” the first
episode would be about how I can’t work my own TV.

That was the sad situation when I had so much trouble with...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4019514</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Feb/23/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Let's get elliptical]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[According to an old saying, which must have been said by somebody
old, muscles have memory. I forget who said it because my muscles are
soaking in milk of amnesia.

Still, I thought I was the oldest member of my gym until I met a guy
who was born ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4012329</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Feb/16/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Color me beautiful]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes a boy just likes to feel pretty. That’s why two of my
granddaughters recently gave me a beauty treatment at their very own spa
and salon.

And I can count on the fingers of two hands how much it cost to be
the envy of everyone at an ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-4006647</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Feb/09/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Mission: Implausible]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[TOP SECRET

To: Tom Cruise

From: Jerry Zezima

Re: “Mission: Implausible”

Dear Mr. Cruise:

I am a dashing, heroic and admittedly aging spy cleverly disguised as
a syndicated newspaper columnist whose work is highly suspect. Your
mission, ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-3999015</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Feb/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Mr. Coffee]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[As a man who dozes off at the drop of a hat, even though I don’t
wear one, I find it hard to wake up and smell the coffee.

The problem is that I can’t smell the coffee until I wake up. And I
can’t wake up until I have coffee.

If that weren...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-3991817</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Jan/26/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Window puns are a real pane]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[If it weren’t for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for me. It
also would be valances, drapes, shutters and other coverings for windows
that I haven’t washed in two years, which is why my wife, Sue, has
been throwing shades at me.

We ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-3985485</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Jan/19/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Jerry Zezima: Don't take snow for an answer]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Because I am a geezer with a heart condition, I’m not ashamed to
admit that when it comes to shoveling snow, I am also a wuss, which
stands for “wait until spring starts.”

To compound matters, I was born during a blizzard and have been
...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/humorcolumns/s-3978655</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Jan/12/2026</pubDate>
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